Why We Become Who We Become, And How To Change It

There is a consistent pattern that runs through a large proportion of human behaviour, and it is something most people never properly understand.

People assume their behaviour is based on choice in the moment, when in reality it is largely driven by systems that have been built over time.

These systems are shaped through experience, particularly early relational experience, and they influence how situations are interpreted, how emotions are generated, and how behaviour is expressed.

This is the area my research has focused on, specifically how early attachment experiences and cognitive processing interact to influence behaviour in adulthood.

How Early Experience Shapes Behaviour

Attachment theory outlines that early interactions with caregivers lead to the development of internal working models, which are cognitive representations of the self, others, and the world .

These models influence expectations about safety, trust, and how relationships function.

When early environments are consistent and predictable, individuals are more likely to develop flexible and adaptive responses to stress.

When environments are inconsistent, threatening, or neglectful, these models can become organised around threat and unpredictability.

This has implications for how individuals interpret social situations later in life.

The Role of Hostile Attribution Bias

One of the key mechanisms examined in my research is hostile attribution bias, which refers to the tendency to interpret ambiguous social cues as hostile .

This bias has been consistently linked to aggression in the literature.

The findings from my MSc research showed that both disorganised and anxious attachment were significantly associated with aggression in adulthood, and that hostile attribution bias acted as a mediating mechanism in this relationship .

This means that individuals with certain attachment patterns are more likely to interpret situations as threatening, and this interpretation increases the likelihood of aggressive responses.

Importantly, this relationship was not uniform across all forms of aggression.

The effects were present in anger, hostility, and physical aggression, but not in verbal aggression, which supports the idea that aggression is not a single construct but a set of related processes.

Aggression as a Multi-Dimensional Outcome

Aggression is commonly divided into multiple components, including physical aggression, verbal aggression, anger, and hostility.

Each of these components is influenced by different psychological processes.

The results of my research indicate that attachment-related mechanisms and attributional processes are more strongly associated with some forms of aggression than others.

This supports a more precise understanding of behaviour, rather than treating aggression as a single outcome.

It also highlights the importance of identifying the specific processes involved when attempting to understand or change behaviour.

Extending the Model, Two Behavioural Pathways

Building on this, my ongoing PhD work proposes that early adversity does not lead to a single behavioural outcome, but can result in different pathways depending on how cognitive and emotional systems develop.

One pathway is characterised by heightened sensitivity to threat, where individuals are more likely to interpret situations as hostile and respond reactively.

This pathway aligns with the findings around hostile attribution bias.

A second pathway is characterised by reduced emotional responsiveness and increased strategic behaviour, often associated with callous-unemotional traits.

In this case, behaviour is less driven by perceived threat and more by goal-directed decision making.

Both pathways originate from early environmental conditions, but diverge based on how internal systems develop.

The Role of Executive Functioning

A key factor in determining how these pathways are expressed is executive functioning.

Executive functions include processes such as inhibition, cognitive flexibility, and planning.

These processes influence whether an individual is able to pause, reassess a situation, and choose a response, or whether behaviour is driven more directly by automatic reactions.

Research indicates that early adversity can impact the development of these functions, particularly those related to inhibition and flexibility.

This has direct implications for behaviour.

If an individual interprets a situation as threatening and lacks the capacity to inhibit their response, the likelihood of reactive behaviour increases.

If planning processes are intact but emotional inhibition is reduced, behaviour may become more calculated.

Behaviour as a System

Behaviour is not best understood as a single decision or isolated action.

It is the result of interactions between cognitive, emotional, and environmental factors.

Early experiences shape how situations are interpreted.

Those interpretations influence emotional responses.

Emotional responses influence behaviour.

Behaviour then feeds back into the environment, reinforcing the original patterns.

Over time, this creates stable patterns of responding.

Understanding behaviour in this way allows for more accurate explanations and more effective intervention.

Implications for Practice

These findings have clear implications for how behaviour is approached in both clinical and applied settings.

Focusing only on observable behaviour without understanding the underlying cognitive and relational mechanisms is unlikely to produce lasting change.

Interventions that address attributional processes, attachment-related patterns, and executive functioning are more likely to be effective.

This is consistent with approaches that integrate cognitive behavioural methods, schema-based work, and metacognitive training.

At E.P.I.C., this is reflected in how change is approached.

The focus is on identifying the mechanisms driving behaviour, bringing them into awareness, and then restructuring them through targeted intervention .

Decision Making and Perceived Control

My research has also explored how beliefs about control influence behaviour, particularly in relation to free will and determinism.

Findings suggest that when individuals believe they have control over their actions, this influences how they make decisions, particularly in situations involving responsibility and consequences .

This highlights the role of cognitive frameworks in shaping behaviour beyond immediate emotional responses.

Conclusion

Behaviour is shaped by systems that develop over time through the interaction of early experience, cognitive processing, and environmental feedback.

Attachment patterns influence how individuals interpret the world.

Attributional biases influence how situations are perceived.

Executive functioning influences how responses are regulated.

Together, these factors determine how behaviour is expressed.

Understanding these mechanisms allows for more accurate explanation of behaviour and provides a clear direction for intervention.

A Practical Starting Point

When noticing a reaction, it can be useful to identify the interpretation that preceded it.

This provides a point of entry into the system driving the behaviour.

From there, it becomes possible to examine whether that interpretation is accurate and whether an alternative response is available.

This process is the starting point for change.